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Late Night Has a New Contender for Weirdest Presidential Photo Ever – The New York Times

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“Bill and Melinda Gates yesterday announced that they have decided to part ways after 27 years of marriage. They got the 27-year itch, I guess.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Apparently, it was an accumulation of lots of little things, like how Bill would never empty the recycling.” — SETH MEYERS

“They’ve already agreed to a custody arrangement. Bill gets to spend time with their money on Tuesday nights and every other weekend, and Melinda gets the rest.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“You know Melinda Gates is thinking, ‘Finally I can use a MacBook!’” — JIMMY FALLON

“I think they both deserve their privacy, but if ABC wants to make Bill the next ‘Bachelor,’ I’m all in.” — JIMMY FALLON

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“Remember what they say — when God closes a door, he opens a Windows 95.” — JIMMY FALLON

“You know, these two, they have a combined estimated worth of at least $134 billion. When you’re that rich, why do you even need to get divorced? Can’t they just live in separate wings?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“But poor Bill Gates. He’s been sleeping in his jet. It’s very sad.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

In honor of a recent Twitter exchange between “The Daily Show” and Ted Cruz, the show does a deep dive on the Texas senator.

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